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Da iLLeSt MaMi

[ website | Kelly Clarkson ]
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ayeeee [27 Jun 2003|08:22am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i seriously do think that im givin up on the whole "male" catagory for awhile lol. nOo not that im goin lesbo on yall nOw just guys confuse me and the more confused I get the more i wanna pull my hair out lol. long story dont feel like gettin into it cause i got nosey ass ppl readin mii diary these days. * hint the comment about emilio*
sOo completely nothin has been goin on. went to ocean city wid tammy and jenn got burnt like crazy. still hurtin rite now n we went on monday i think. today sandizzle comes down from nj im sOo excited about that!!!! i <3333 dat grl. im still not sure wtf we're goin to do this weekend i mean come on now its MD wtf is there to do but go to walmart? lmaO dunnO man we'll see. me and annie <3 chilled last nite. shez down until the umm 13th i think i dunnO. oOo guess whos gonna be working at walmart? MEEEEEE yaya lol nOt really but hey itz a job. imma be workin in the photo place tOo sOo its all good. get to look at pplz pictures and see them embarrass themselves plus I get picture developing free sOo thats even better. thanxs to mii lovely sister in law who i love oOo so much for gettin me the job :-D now i wont feel like a complete loser dis summer wid no job. garenteed 40 hours tOo im nOt sure if id wanna work 40 hours but hey ok not like i have ne thing else to do but they close early sOo its aight.
im suppose to b goin bak to michigan on the 3rd for awhile for the eminem concert but i have a doctors appointment on the 7th n im not even sure how imma manage that one. OoOo mii bestfriend Kelly's dad had triple by pas surgrey yesterday :-( I feel sOo awful because I cant be down there with them but now that i got a job we're planning on going down sometime in august and they are suppose to be coming in august also sOo hopefully we'll end up seeing each other some how. * note to kelly* I hope your dad did well in the surgrey and everything went ok. Please tell him that i love and miss him and hopefully i'll see him soon :-) o HEY by the way Kel lol hope your doin okay also and you still love yur job <3333

aight sOo imma go n watch judge joe brown now lmao omg im sOo addicted to these lil court shows its pathetic. i find miiself wantin to be a lawyer just tOo tell ppl how stupid they are for some of these lawsuits they try to bring in. like sum 1 suin sum 1 for 20 dollarz lmaO umm hellO dont yOu realize it cost more than 20 dollars to even go to court smh@ losers these days.aight imma go 4 real dis time <33333333333333333333333333333333333

ps- i kno imma lil late but did nebodi see 50 cent in the movie awards on mtv? DAMN hez hott!!!!!!

1 mm like dat gO dOwn

blah [24 Jun 2003|03:07pm]
ive been listening to this song over n over n over again i think its my new favorite song

From The Damage

This time I'm done with always screwing up
I'm sick of one direction down
I'm a broken picture frame
My whole world's twisted inside out
Streaming voices like a hurricane
It's telling me to wake up
Get out of bed
Put your feet on the floor
There's fresh air out the door

And I've been acting so pathetic
Knocking around like a ball on a string
It's taking time for me to get it
I'm ready and willing to do anything to make it up to you

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage

Last time I'm playing with a broken string
It don't matter no one's listening
Cause losing you has made me see
I've gotta change
Gotta blame it
All on me

And I've been acting so pathetic
Knocking around like a ball on a string
It's taking time for me to get it
I'm ready and willing to do anything to make it up to you (oh)

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty (so empty)
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy (heavy yeah)
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
That you just can't walk away
From the damage (damage)

My eyes may as well be blind if I just can't see you(if I can't see you)
My hands may as well be tied cause they just can't touch you (touch you)

Before the smoke can really clear away
From fires I started yesterday
I know I've gotta find a way
Somehow I've gotta find a way to wake up
From the damage

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage
My eyes may as well be blind if I just can't see you
My hands may as well be tied cause they just can't touch you
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the Damage

I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage
2 mm like dat gO dOwn

:-( [24 Jun 2003|11:03am]
jay just called me and told me that john is tryna get with kara who just happens to be one of my friends. oo and if that dont make me upset i also found out he had sex wid dis grl jamie and broke her virginity!! grrr i swear he makes me so freakin mad its like how can u get out of a relationship and just go fuck other grls? i havent even thought about it because im still not over him fully but i guess thats because we're different people. now imma be the better person and call kara and tell her not to turn him down because of me because he is a good person and if she likes him i dont want her not sayin yes to him because of me. GRRRRR i hate being a freakin good person
4 mm like dat gO dOwn

real post [20 Jun 2003|11:51pm]
ne wayz i have no reason y i did that i guess outta boredom. ne wayz today was borin. i did completely nothin all day. our freakin electric went off for almost 2 hours </3 thunder storms. I hate living in the country we're always the last ones to get our electric cut back on when it goes out. i decided not to go out tonite really didnt feel like it. tomorrow ill be a week dat me and john has been broke up and you kno wut right now im doing pretty good. thanxs to everyone who commented in my pasts entry about it. it def. helped out alot. actually to tell yall the truth i like being single. im hardly ever single and now that i am im actually enjoying it. dont have ta worrya bout hurting anyone, not tied down, can do what i want. sOo its def. not a bad thing. sandizzle comes in 6 days!!! im sOo excited. i dunnO wut we're going to do tho because honestly theres like nothing at all to do in maryland. i hate it here. only thing to do is ocean city but when it rains ( like it has been) cant really go there. sOo i guess we'll just have to see. i need a new tongue ring. i just got one not to long ago but this one is really gettin annoying. not that yall care lol just tryna find something to talk about. ugh ive been listening to otown pratically all day lol. whatever happened 2 dem? i got there new albumn and its like after that they've done completely nothing. i still <3 them thO. never gonna forget the last otown concert me tammy and annie went tOo we met trevor and i was like ay trevor i like ur fro lmaO well itz tru hez got nice hair. sOo y not tell him? lmaO good timez man. or goin to da nelly concert n me gettin sick right when nelly got on </3 def. sucked oh well I lasted until he was over lol. ahh i hope this summer is better than last summer. not that last summer wasnt fun but it def. has to be better this summer. the eminem concert is on the 13th of july really excited about that but after that i aint got nothin tOo do. yeah well go to nj of course to visit sandizzle n nicole. hmm i guess we'll see. wow dis entry has been a long shit load of completely nothin lol oh well passes up time. aight imma go and find something constructive tOo do. <3 jeNn
gO dOwn

qualifications [20 Jun 2003|11:50pm]
SoOo ive seen lOtz of ppl doin dis sOo imma do it tOo.

10 Things I Look For/Like In A Guy
1. Eyes. Guys with pretty eyes is def. a turn on. Of course im not going to turn a guy down because his eyes arent exactly pretty but if he has pretty eyes its a plus.
2. Sweet Personalty. Personalty to me means more than looks. A guy that knows how to treat a girl the way the girl wants to be treated is def. a good quailty in a guy.
3. Honest. I believe a person should always be honest about everything when going into a relationship or even when your in one. Honesty is a major role in being a relationship. If your not honest about everything that is going on or how you feel you'll just regret not telling the person exactly how you feel.
4. Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Without trust there is no relationship. ( well thats how I feel). You have to know that no matter where he is he's not doing anything wrong.
5. Not to jealous. I dont really like real real jealous guys. Leads to too much figthing/arguing and arguing isnt a good thing.
6. Dresses nice. I love a guy that knows how to dress. Of course I dont like guys that think they are better than everyone conceitedness is a big turn off for me, but as long as they dress nice and dont have a cocky attitude than its all good.
7. Awesome dancer. Well this doesnt necessarly have to be one but nothing is better than going clubbin with a guy that knows how to hold it down on the dance floor.
8. Knows when to be serious but also knows how to joke. Come on now not everything has to be serious all the time. Having fun and joking around is healthy.
9. Bestfriend test. If my bestfriend doesn't like him than im more than likely not going to be with a guy. My bestfriend and me are pretty much alike and if she sees something that I don't see she'll def. tell me.
10. Lastly looks. Looks doesn't really matter to me but come on you gotta be atleast attracted to the person to be with him right?
1 mm like dat gO dOwn

eh [20 Jun 2003|03:43am]
[ mood | sad ]

ayeeee sOo just when I thought i was ok wid me and john breakin up I guess im really not. i guess i truely did love him because rite now im still upset. its only umm certain moments I guess. yesterday was our anniversary type of thing and its like gosh i cant believe i waisted sOo much time on ONE guy and than he just blow it all up on my face, but if theres something ive learnt its GUYS will always do that. its like in the beginning its great than everyday after that you get to kno the real person and kno hes def. not the person you thought you were getting with :-( idk maybe its just me but dats wut it alwayz seems like when i get into a relationship. i mean i def. kno im better off without him and i kno i can do alot better but no matter how many timez i tell myself dis it all comes back to all the good times we had and all da fun we had together and its like grrrrrrrrrrrr. sOo ive came to the conclusion jenn will NOT do relatioships ne more for a LONG LONG time. kinda sucks thOo because yeah there is a guy that i do like and ive liked him for awhile but I KNOW i def. cant be back wit him tOo much shit happens when i am wid him and um noo def. dont wanna go thru dat shit again sOo no lol.

gosh man im listening to selfish by nsync NEVER do that when ur upset lol it makes me u cry even worse. i feel like da biggest babii ever. cryin over a guy? i shouldnt do that ive learnt from the past and i should be stronge about it but NOOOOOOO dummy ass me sitting here crying over a guy. no guy should ever be worth that now y cant i just get dat thru mii head and be da normal happy person that i use ta be. i think i really need to be dat person again. i need to be happy wid myself again 4 once. might be hard but i def. wanna be that person again. i just need to stop letting guys get to me.

ne wayz imma go talk to some ppl than gOo to bed goodnite <3

7 mm like dat gO dOwn

yOo put da kids tOo bed [19 Jun 2003|12:44pm]
[ mood | amused ]

well guess whO i finally gOt tOo talk tOo ????? emiliO <333 i swear imma alwayz lOve dat bOii nO matter wut we gOo thru. sOo yeah we had a lOng talk catched up on stuff datz been gOin on all in all def. a gOod mOment <3 sOo yeh tOday im gOin out wid jenn and tammy i nunnO wut we're gOin tOo dOo but its like a grlz day out Or sumfin sOo im sure we'll get intO sumthing. jessie tryna hOlla at jenn thO sOo hOpefully they get tOgetha. ahhh itz bOrin its like 12:38 and im still sittin herre in mii nite clOthez i feel like sucha bum but itz all gOod i'll get up sum day lOl. hmmm wut shOuld i wear tOday. im nOt use tOo dis whOle "single" thing lOl. im use ta bein wid da ex all da tyme and him seein me even when i lOok bad and nOw i dOnt gOt a man I gOtta lOok all nice n ish when i gOo out but itz okay i aint tryna lOok like a bum or sumfin. i cOmpletely have nOthin tOo write abOut. i mean i cOuld sit here and talk about wut me and emi talked abOut but i knO sum nOsey ass pplz b readin dis and i def. aint tryna have dem gOo tell everyOne and get shit started sOo imma just keep it to miiself :-D <3

ne wayz imma gOo and find sOmething to wear and sOmething tOo do until we leave i'll hOlla later
<3 jeNn

ps- can we say NICK CANNON and B2K in NEBODI FEELIN FREAKY lOokz fine as hell? mmmmmmmmk imma def. marry nick cannOn just call me jenn cannOn frOm on :-X

6 mm like dat gO dOwn

Ayeeeee [18 Jun 2003|09:32am]
[ mood | bored ]

aight i decided tOo use dis diary again becauze itz better sOo imma update on wutz been gOin on lately since mii livejOurnal friendz havent really heard frOm me in awhile. sOo i was wid dis guy jOhn fOr almost 3 or 4 mOnthz im nOt really sure lmaO and we ended up breakin up on saturday. at first I was madd upset but ya knO nOw dat i think abOut it itz fOr da better becauze we hadd prOblemz and I guess we gOt tOo clOse tOo fast and we were alwayz tOgether. i just didnt get hOw he said he had to "clear" his head and stOp bein depressed but nOw he messin wid sOme Otha grl but yOu knO itz all gOod becauze he'll realize One day what he had and decide he wantz me bak and i'll b da first one there to say HELL nO lol. i lOve him alOt but im def. nOt ever gOnna gO thru anOther break up like dat. sOo rite nOw im happily SINGLE.

sandizzle cOmez dOwn next week and im sOo excited!!!! i cant wait. we've been friendz fOr like a year and we aint ever met and FINALLY we get tOo. I went and read all mii old entries and they were pretty much ALL abOut emiliO. lOl. me and emi um dOnt talk at all? nOt dat its mii decisiOn itz his becauze he tOld one of mii friendz dat I called him a liar and laughed abOut it? which i dOnt remember but i prObably did. itz all gOod thO i mean i still like him (friendz wise) but if he dOesnt wanna talk tOo me nOthin i can dO abOut it rite? um ryan da otha guy i talked abOut we dOnt talk at all and trust me I DONT want tOo eitha. he still has mii ring thO which sux becauze hez prObably keepin it hOstage or sOmething. i tell ya i pick da winnerz. lol OoO alsO i talked abOut kevin which im sure yall knO whO he iz well we're friends :-) im really happy abOut that cauze hez da one i alwayz gO tO advice fOr nOw lOl.

as fOr as me im dOin gOod considering wut ive been thru since I last pOsted on here. im back in maryland nOw and its better nOw. im having fun and chillin wid all my grlz which i def. needed. when i gOt wid jOhn i kinda stOpped chillin wid them but ive realized dat mii grlz mean mOre tOo me than any guy EVER will. sOo im dOin gOod.

welp imma gO nOw and find sOmething tOo dO but i def. will update again tOday sOmetime

<3 jeNn

gO dOwn

immmmmmm back [18 Jun 2003|08:24am]
I have decided imma start usin dis journal again becauze live journal is sOo much better than blurty......sOo yes im back and i will be updatin as sOon as I make me a layout on dis name :-D
gO dOwn

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